Thank you for your Friendship

31st Jan 2008 was surely the worst moment of my life to date. My best buddy Gys passed away suddenly. When I received the SMS informing us of his demise, I was not able to believe it. I thought it was a cruel joke; maybe it is really a cruel joke played by heaven.

His unexpected departure really came as a shock to all of us. There was so much promise to his life, he had so much going for him, so much he wanted to achieve and then all of a sudden… gone… just like that.

The past 2 weeks have not been easy. Yes, time does heal the pain but the scar will always be there. Sometimes when it is quiet and I’m alone, my mind starts to wander… And I think of him… and I can’t help but shed tears, reminiscing the crappy jokes we shared, the common topics we discussed and the goals we so much wanted to achieve together.

This incident has also opened my eyes to the true nature of human beings. Not that I do not know about the “cruel nature” of men to begin with but rather it taught me not to judge people by their cover. Yes, I know that is very cliché but well…

From Gys’s funeral I was able to see a lot of things, who were the true friends, who were not. Who were the ones with a heart, who were the ones who don’t give a hoot.

I mean there was one friend who came all the way from Woodlands upon hearing the unfortunate news and he only stayed for a few minutes because he had to rush back to catch the last bus. The fact that he came all the way from Woodlands just to see Gys off really touched me. To think we even teased him during our poly days…

The former final year project mate who said he wanted to come but in the end didn’t even hear any news of him. I wondered what happened to him. Maybe he died too?

*Edited - To forgive is divine*

This episode also taught me to appreciate and cherish my friends and people I hold dear more. Never take them for granted. When they ask you to go out, try to make time for them. Don’t put off appointments just because you seem to be busy; find some time in your busy schedule to meet up.

Most importantly, I’ve learnt that life is too short and fragile. Till this point of my life, all I have been doing is waiting and waiting… waiting for what? A big break?

I’ve been putting off things that ought to be done ages ago. I’ve been avoiding problems by not thinking of them. There are so many things I wanted to do but I have not done so because I’m waiting for the right time.

Hello! There might never be a right time. You might just be gone tomorrow! So, why waste time? Why do things that don’t make you happy? Why pursue routes that you know have no future?

Gys has taught me a lot of things and one important lesson I learnt from him is not to be afraid of challenges. Just do it. Get the deal done. Worry about the details lately. Most often, they will come naturally.

I remember I had a lengthy msn conversation with him one night. We were talking about entrepreneurship. I asked him how he feels to know that he was no longer going to get a steady paycheck once he stepped onto the path of entrepreneurship. His answer was simple but enlightening.

He said, “There are times when I wake up in the morning feeling demoralized and afraid of what is going to happen next. But from that day I decided to become an entrepreneur, I knew I had to stick to my decision no matter what.”

Too often when stuck with an obstacle, I look for the nearest exit, hoping to find a better and easier path. But these paths are not what I wanted in the first place. For years, I’ve been wandering about, confused like a lost lamb…

No no, I’m not going to preach about how the Lord is my Shepherd and how he is going to help me find my way. Ha.

Promises I have made, yet I have not kept. Hopes I have given but yet always end up in disappointment. There are many times when I always tell people to go for their dreams and don’t live their lives miserably, yet look at me now. I am not practicing what I have been preaching.

It is time to stop the talk. Stop the Rot. And walk the walk.

Believe in yourself and go for it.

Enough said.

Life’s not a song.
Life isn’t bliss.
Life is just this.
It’s living.
You’ll get along.
The pain that you feel
Only can heal
By living.
You have to go on living.
So that one of us is living.