Stop bringing your own bags and give our kids their childhood back.

I hate BYOB day. That's "Bring your Own Bag Day" for you. I think we should scrap it altogether. Not that I'm not a green person, in fact I'm always in support of saving our dear precious mother earth.

However, BYOB day is another matter. Last time, it used to be the first Wednesday of every month but now it seems that it's BYOB day every Wednesday at NTUC fairprice supermarkets.

Well, I believe in taking all my medicine at one go; either you scrap BYOB day or you totally stop giving out plastic bags, like what IKEA is doing.

You know that sudden realization, when you are carrying a truckload of grocery and getting ready to pay for it at the cashier when you suddenly remember, "Oh shoot! Today is Wednesday! And that means, I have to bring my own bag!"

It is then you wished that you could time travel and instantly jump to Thursday. Or you could jump back to Tuesday and remember that you have to bring your own bag along when you go to the supermarket on Wednesday. Ha.

Gosh, I just realized I sounded so auntie. Fancy complaining about plastic bags and grocery shopping here. Ha.

Speaking about taking all our medicine at one go, like how the GST was raised from 5% to 7% at one shot, I think we should review the PSLE Maths papers now and raise the standard to such heights that only people from a certain country can pass it. Ha. :P

I mean, have you recently taken a look at the stuffs our primary school kids are learning nowadays? I tell you, some of the maths questions have left me scratching my head. Maybe I'm allergic to maths or something since my scalp always itches whenever I look at algebra or equations. Ha.

Not only Maths, even the science. People, these kids are studying animal reproduction in primary school already! The last time I was in primary school, I was still trying to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg! Ha.

Even the English, the vocabulary these kids are exposed to and expected to know might even put some of you to shame. For crying out loud, you guys are reading this piece of crap right now while those genius kids are happily easily devouring the Straits Times and some even the Business Times. Ha.

My point in all this? Give our kids a break! Give them their childhood back! I shudder when I hear and read reports from parents that almost all kids nowadays have tuition because every other kid is having it.

I know I should not be going against the tuition era since my patapon dar dar is after all a tuition teacher and the food she brings to the table are all bought from the money she makes from tuition and boy are those nice food and I sure don't want to miss those food... oops, sorry I got distracted! Ha.

But I feel that everything should always be done in moderation. Some kids have tuition from Monday to Sunday, giving them no time to do the most important thing a kid should do. It starts with "P."

No, NOT taking Piano lessons but rather PLAY!

Kids need to play just like how fishes need to swim. I mean a fish won't be a fish if it didn't swim just like how a kid won't be a kid if he/she doesn't play! Ha. It might seems like a strange analogy but you get the point right?

A fish that doesn't swim is either a dead fish or simply a fish that has not been taught how to swim. And we all know what happens to fishes that can't swim, they all end up dead eventually.

A kid who doesn't play? Then where the hell is his imagination going to come from? What about his make-believe conversation with his imaginary friend, or his Steven Spielberg's talents when he directs his Spiderman action figure in his own version of Spiderman 4?

Wow, I just realized how much I missed those. Ha.

For the girls, no more imaginary tea parties or the pretending to be a cook games. No more, gasp, Barbie dolls and Ken. You know what that means people? It means that the entire toy industry could go down! Think of the repercussions!

Millions will be out of jobs. Factories that once churn out Barbie dolls could end up producing "How to ace your maths in 10 days!" instead! That is horrible! Ha.

So people, for the sake of the toy industry and our economy, stop giving the kids so much tuition! I mean, the only tuition I had was from Primary 3 to 6 and even that was a relaxing group tuition where we will spend 10 minutes to do our worksheet and the next hour playing block catching. Ha. Shh... don't tell my mum that.

What? You don't know what is block catching? I really pity you. Ha.

I had minimal tuition and look where that got me today?

...

Right, that wasn't such a great example. Let's move on shall we? Ha.

Point is, kids can have tuition but some time should be allocated to playing. You only have your childhood once and the moment you miss the train to childhood land, you miss it.

There's no second train or anything like that. You can't possibly have make-believe conversation with your Batman action figure when you are an adult, unless you are really directing the next Batman blockbuster and you need to do that to get inspiration. Ha.

Otherwise, sorry. The trip to childhood land is one way and they don't wait for late-comers.

That's why I have been trying to get this point to my dar dar about the future plans for our kids. Tuitions are allowed on Monday to Friday and half a day Saturday. After that, it's playtime and Sunday is family day! Ha.

What? You wished you were my kid? Ha.

But I'm still trying to get dar dar to sign on the dotted line just in case she backs out on our agreement for the kids. Ha. See, siukai is such a nice guy and would make the best father in the world!

Gosh! What the heck is wrong with me today? I'm already starting to talk about fatherhood when I'm not even married?! Ha.

Well, it's never too early to plan isn't it?

I always felt that I was much older than what my IC suggested. Maybe wiser is a more appropriate word. Ha.

In primary school, when the other kids were still catching spiders and grasshoppers, I was already at Tarantulas and crickets. Ha. That was obviously a joke. Point is, I think far ahead. Like currently, I'm thinking of what to have for lunch on Saturday. Ha. :p

Come on siukai! Can't you be serious for a second?

Right.

There. A second.

Ha. I can't be serious. I will bore you to death. The other time I tried to be serious, I was nearly arrested by the authorities for attempted murder by boredom. Ha.

Some of you reading this blog might think that siukai is the crappiest man alive and he is full of bull. Well, the truth is far from that.

My dar dar can attest to that; siukai can be serious and most of the time he is rather boring except when he is blogging. That's when another being seems to take over his mind and fingers and crap will just flow out, like now. Ha.

Okie, I got to stop soon. Need to head to work. Yah, I got another work as a traffic surveyor. Recently, I feel that I'm becoming more of an odd-job worker, all kind of work also do: Software promoter, Membership recruiter and now traffic surveyor. Ha. What's next?

This weekend, dar dar is cooking one of her specialty dish, "Tuna fried rice with sausages". Ha. Looking forward to it. Till then. Au revoir! :D

Siukai's weekend feast and other stories

Hey hey, welcome back!

Wanted to update my blog yesterday but I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (Not literally of course but just felt I needed to clarify since I share the same bedroom with my bro and there is a slight possibility that I might in fact roll over to his side of the bed in the middle of the night. Ha.)

Was feeling quite grouchy the entire day and had no mood to write any crap.

But siukai, I thought you say you must learn how to control your emotions and must always think positive thoughts?

Yah, I did say that but remember siukai is still mortal after all and there are times when it is just difficult to practice what you pitch. Ha.

But not to worry though, I'm alright now; nothing a good night sleep and an episode of Friends couldn't fix. Ha.

So, let's begin shall we? First up, the highly anticipated return of siukai's weekends feast! Ha. Yup, it has been a while now since dar dar prepared dinner on a Saturday due to her going for a holiday in Taiwan a few weeks back and my work commitments.

But it was my off day last Saturday and dar dar was eager to feed my ever demanding tummy. Ha. This week, dar dar decided to cook up a Rendang Chicken Feast! :D So, we headed to the nearest NTUC supermarket to purchase the necessary ingredients.

Ingredients

The ingredients are rather simple. They include potatoes, chicken parts and a packet of your favorite Rendang Sauce. :) Dar dar said that the process of cooking the chicken is top secret, so I am not allowed to reveal the details here.

Ha. dar dar did not say that, just that I'm lazy to fill in the details. Ha. :P Just look at the photos can liao lah.

Frying the chicken

Adding the potatoes

Adding the Rendang Sauce

Simmering...

After frying the chicken and potatoes together with the sauce, we need to simmer everything for about 45 minutes.

The Rendang Chicken Feast!

Tada! The Rendang feast is ready to be served! The bowls of soup is Tofu soup. :) Notice the strange fried chicken drumstick that looks different from the rest. It's actually chicken from Long John Silver, leftover from lunch. Ha.

Rating:

Review: Quite a tasty treat! But appearance wise, the dish seems to be lacking some green. :) Dar dar also said that the sauce was not thick enough, maybe we need to get 2 packets of sauce for 1kg of chicken. Nonetheless, it was a commendable effort! Thanks dar dar!

Verdict: Not bad! Can Eat lah!

Alright then, now that we got the food out of the way, let's get down to serious business. Ha.

Seriously? (Pun intended) Serious business at siukai's world? That's a first! Ha.

I think I need to write a disclaimer for the following paragraphs: What you are about to read next is purely written for entertainment purposes. siukai does not mean to insult anybody. :)

After a few weeks of working at roadshows and book fairs, siukai has come up with a list of the different types of customers he encountered during his sales experience. Take a read to see whether you belong to or encountered any of the groups:

(Not in any order and for convenience sake, all the customers are treated as males. )

1) The "Talk to the hand" group:

This group of customers are most commonly encountered. Their methods are crude but effective. The customer simply raise his hand, palms facing the salesperson (akin to a Stop! No Go! gesture) to indicate that he is not interested. No spoken words needed. This "Talk to the hand" sign is surely a front-runner for invention of the century! Ha.

2) The Head-Nodders

This group of customers will simply nod their head irregardless of what you say. They will nod their head, as if in agreement with what you say. While nodding, they will smile at you but continue to walk briskly away. A very curious group since nodding of the head indicate interest yet these people do not stop and listen. Hmm... they must be from another planet. Ha.

3) The Head-Shakers

In direct contrast to the Head-Nodders, we have the Head-Shakers. This group is more easily understood since they will shake their head to indicate that they are not interested in what you have to offer them. Some will still smile at you out of courtesy while some will frown at you, as if you owe them money or something.

4) The Direct-tors

These group of customers are one of my favorites. They get straight to the point and do not beat around the bush. Normally, their first question will be, "Free? Need money?" The moment the sales person explains that there are costs involved, their immediate reaction will be, "Need money ah? No thanks." Straight-forward and no time is wasted.

5) The "I can't see or hear salespeople" group

These group of customers are the rudest. They treat salespeople as if they are invisible. Despite the salesman's best effort to talk to them, these customers simply walk away, no smile, no waving of the hand, no nodding/shaking of the head, nothing. It is as if salespeople are invisible to them. It is very rude. I think their mothers never teach them properly. If you belong to these group, shame on you!!! :(

6) The "I've got a minute to spare" group

This group of customers are the nicest. They have the courtesy to stop and listen to what you have to offer. Some will even have a decent human conversation with you. :) Though not all of them will buy eventually, they will at least treat the salesperson like a fellow human being, with respect that is. Kudos to their parents for teaching them well!

7) The "I'm simply not interested in what you have to offer" group.

This group is the most curious of all. They do not even give the salesperson a chance to explain what he is trying to sell them. They simply show him the hand or say, "Not interested" before the salesperson has a chance to speak. Very curious indeed, what if the salesperson was trying to give them free money? Ha.

8) The Squeezers

This final group of customers pride themselves in being able to get out of "tricky" situations, avoiding salesmen at all cost. They will find a way to squeeze behind the salesman's back, even though there might not be enough space. They will twist and turn their body within the limited walking space just to avoid eye contact with the salesperson.

It is as if the salesperson's gaze can kill or will have a hypnotic effect on them. Ha. But of course the days of the squeezers are numbered. There will come a day when mutation allows salesmen to have eyes on the back of their heads too. Ha. Gross.

Really got to meet a lot of strange and interesting people during the roadshows, I supposed it's better than being coop up in an office. :) So, is siukai considering a sales job for his future career? Nah, don't count on it. Some things are better left to the experts. Ha.

Good day! :D

Hello there! Don't be shocked okie, you are still at Siu Kai's World, just that I've given my blog a brand new look. Ha.

Yup, have been wanting to change the layout of my blog for quite some time, just that I was really busy with work the past few weeks. But I finally sat myself down and tada! Here's the masterpiece. :D

What? You think the previous design is nicer? Ha. I think so too but I feel that the previous design was not really reader-friendly. The words are too small and cramped. And seeing how siukai's posts are getting longer by the day, I thought I should not continue to torture my fans' eyes. Ha.

The design might not be that pretty but it's effective. Ha. I guess that basically sums up siukai's outlook/philosophy on life. I prefer practical and effective things rather than stuffs that look pretty on the surface but is really useless deep down inside.

As the saying goes, "Never judge a book by its cover." siukai says, "Never judge a blog by its skin." And of course, "Never judge a man by his crap." Ha.

And here's more good news for you siukai's fans! siukai's new blog, Men are from Queenstown, Women are from Bukit Panjang is finally up!

Ha. Yah, it was supposed to be a book but no money to publish lah, so blog first. :)

Have already posted some of the stuffs I wrote a few years back, some "tactics" might be a bit outdated but they still make for a good read and laugh of course. Ha.

And the goodies keep on coming! Do watch out for The Chronicles of siukai - The Fatman, the wardrobe and his oversize pants - another upcoming blog to satisfy your SKC addiction. Ha.

Enjoy! :)

I'm sorry but we might need to send you home...

Hi! I'm back! Miss me? Ha.

Come on, I know you do. :D Admit it, you missed siukai's crap don't ya? Still not convinced? Take a look at the following symptoms and check for yourself whether you exhibit these signs:

1) You click on the siukaiworld link (which is already in your favorites list) the moment you log on to the Internet.

2) You are disappointed when you do not see any updates.

3) You click on the refresh button on the browser once in a while, hoping to see updated posts but in vain.

4) You read and re-read previous post just to pacify your urge for new content.

5) Before you disconnect from the Internet, you click on the refresh button one last time.

6) You become frustrated at the lack of updates and feel that something is missing from your life.

Ha! So are you a hardcore siukai fan and suffering from SKC (siukai's crap) withdrawal symptoms? Ha.

Not to worry, Dr siu is in the house to give you your much awaited dose! Ha.

First thing first, actually I was not even away; I did not go for my reservist. Before you pick up that phone to report me for AWOL-ing (Absent without Leave in army lingo), let me explain myself.

Ha. Of course you guys already know that siukai is patriotic and would not think twice to defend his country when the need arises. Think thrice or more maybe. But definitely not twice. Ha.

Anyway, there I was, waking up in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, bags packed and ready for my 10 days in-camp training (ICT). After saying a silent prayer, I put on my army pants and to my surprise, it fitted! A miracle! There is indeed a GOD afterall! Ha. :P

So, in high spirits, I boarded the first train to Choa Chu Kang, then to Bukit Panjang as my army stuffs were at my dar dar's place and Ed was coming over to fetch me. (My army camp was near dar dar's place, that's why I left my army stuffs there.)

Dar dar even bought us breakfast from McDonalds. :) Thanks patapon dar dar! Muacks.

Oh yah, let me sidetrack for a bit. For those who have no idea what patapon means, it's actually this game dar dar and me are currently playing on the psp. It's a rather fun and addictive game. Dar dar is quite addicted to the game, hence the nickname. Ha.

Back to the story... so after saying our I-will-miss-you and goodbyes, Ed and me made our way to the army camp. It has been almost 4 years since we last set foot in the camp and well the feeling... not that great exactly. Ha. It's never nice to go back lah.

After parking his car, we brought our barang barang to the training shed to await for further instructions. Saw a few of our former camp mates who were also there for their first ICT.

The first sign of "trouble" came when the instructors told us to assemble according to our company and sections and this being our first ICT, we had no idea which section we belonged to.

So we went to look for our names on the list. It took a while but eventually Ed found his name, however I still could not find mine. So I proceeded to the clerk and he scanned my NRIC.

"Hmm... this is strange, your name is recorded for this ICT but you don't seem to have any company or section." the clerk said calmly.

"Hmm... how come?" I asked, getting a bit excited.

"Are you still studying?" the lady standing next to the clerk asked. She was the chief clerk.

"Yah, I'm still studying." I replied, heart pounding faster.

"Oh." she said, a look of surprise on her face.

"So, what's wrong?" I asked, a smile was forming.

"Wait a second, let me check again." the chief clerk said and she went through the list one more time, this time more slowly. When she reached the end of the list, she looked up at me and smiled.

"I have to call HQ, maybe you can wait here?" she said.

"Oh okay, what might be wrong?" I asked, the grin on my face getting wider.

"Hmm... I think we might have already posted you out of this unit because you are currently schooling. But I need to double confirm."

"We might need to send you home." she added.

"Oh." I tried very hard not to let my emotions show but deep down inside, I was already jumping for joy.

A few minutes later she came back and the words that came out of her mouth were like the most wonderful melody to my ears.

"Congratulations siukai, you have won a million dollars!!!"

Ha. That wasn't what she said but the effects were similar.

"I'm sorry but I think you have to go home because you have been posted out of the unit and is currently on the holding list." I could not believe my ears and had to asked her to repeat herself.

And when it was all said and done, what choice did I have? I bid farewell to Ed and my former camp mates and made my way slowly out of the camp. I could have ran, just in case they said they made a mistake and wanted me to go back, but my barang barang was just too heavy. Ha.

And that very evening, I went for a buffet dinner with dar dar and family at Seoul Gardens. Wow. What a day! Ha.

Since I did not have any ICT, I went back to work and was quite busy for the past few days, hence the lack of updates.

Oh yah, dar dar cooked chilli chicken on Saturday and it was delicious! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take any pictures because my sis took the camera with her when she went on a holiday. So, sorry guys, no pictures this time round.

Besides that, nothing much really happened and thus I think this might be one of the shortest post ever. Ha.

You kiddin me siukai? After waiting for one week, this is the best crap you can muster? Give me more!

Ha. Do I hear shouts of encore?

Ha. Okay okay, let me try to dig up some more crap from my arsenal...

Oh, okay, got it. This morning, at the AMK roadshow, I was introducing the benefits of the membership card to an auntie and was telling her how she could purchase movie tickets at a discounted rate when her son asked, "Uncle, where can we buy the tickets?"

That question earned the son a slap on the head from the mother. You would have think the mother told the son, "Don't anyhow call uncle, he's Gor Gor (big brother)"

In my dreams perhaps! Ha. Instead the mother simply said, "Don't interrupt." Ha.

Uncle siu ah uncle siu... Ha. Seriously, this is not the first time someone called me uncle liao lah. I'm kinda used to it though sometimes I still make my way to the toilet to wipe away the mysterious clear liquid that seems to flow uncontrollably from my eyes. Ha.

I think the first time some kid called me uncle was when I was in Poly. I was walking past this car with gys when suddenly this kid who was inside the car started pointing at me and shouted "Uncle! Uncle!"

I was "saun" by gys for the next few days. Ha.

That was the beginning of the Uncle siu's era.

My worst encounter? You might not be able to take it you know. It could either be the funniest or saddest thing you have ever heard. Ha.

There was one time when I was going home when this UNCLE called out to me and he asked, "UNCLE, how to get to the MRT station ah?"

Gosh. An uncle calling me uncle.

I was so upset that I could not eat for days and ended up losing a few kilos. Ha.

I think it was rather dark that day and maybe the lightings casted shadows on my face, making me look much older, or maybe that Uncle was drunk. Yah, must be lah. Ha.

Alright then, I'm done for the day. Not bad lah, still got 1300++ words, got meet the siukai quota liao. Ha. Don't worry, will be back soon enough. Till then!

The secret ingredient is.... nothing!

I think I must be one of the worst salesman ever! Ha. After 7 days at the world book fair, poor uncle Siu did not managed to crack that big fat zero! If there was an award in my company for the most awful sales personnel, I would be a shoo-in for that. Ha.

Eh boss, I really tried quite hard liao lei. There were a few times I did come close but like what Jose Mourinho, the new manager of Inter Milan proclaimed, almost is not good enough.

I almost got a $150 sales, I almost got a $840 sales but almost is nothing. Maybe in the philosophy of a loser almost is great but of course we all know that siukai retired from the greatest loser club ever a couple of years back. Ha. Therefore, it was actually quite a disappointing 7 days for me. :(

I can blame the crowd, blame the organizer of the fair who did not try hard enough to promote the event, blame the customers who did not give me a chance. Maybe these factors do play a part in my disastrous result but remember that winners make sacrifices and not excuses?

Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a salesman. Ha. I was still afraid that my zero streak will continue since I was back at my other promoter job at Tampines mall. 1 hour before I knock off, I was still at zero.

"Die die!" I thought to myself. "Don't tell me I'm going into my 8th day without any sales?" Now I know how a striker feels when he is on a goal drought. Sometimes you just need that one goal to get the momentum back again.

So did siukai get that one goal?

Drum rolls...

Of course lah! Ha. It's uncle siu you are talking about here lei. The never say die, always positive uncle who never backs down despite the colossal amount of rejections. Ha.

I was almost using my level 3 mind control powers I learnt from Prof Xavier and "phys-co-ing" this uncle to buy with my unbelievable sales talk. Ha. And when he said, "Okie, how do I sign up?" I think I was almost in heaven. Ha.

I had to control myself from hugging him and giving him a kiss. Ha. Thank you Mr Rashid! I'm sure you won't regret signing up for this wonderful card!!! :)

Minus the lack of sales, the 7 days at the book fair was quite enjoyable actually. Met a lot of interesting and nice people. :) One of them is Alfred. Ha. He is like the NICEST and the most FUNNY guy there. Ha.

Yup, Alfred called me the other time and he asked me why I did not mention his name in my blog. Well, there it is. Alfred is the BEST guy ever. Ha.

Seriously, Alfred is one of the top salesman among the part-timers. I attribute it to his tactical use of words. Like when I told him I was 26 this year, he replied, "Oh, then you must be the biggest among us."

Notice he used "biggest" rather than the now taboo "O" word at siukai's world. Ha. His sweet talking must have won him a lot of customers.

Well, just in case you do meet other people who are much older than you, siukai has some wonderful words which you may use. Like you can say, "Oh, you are 26, how I wish I was as mature as you!" Or "26 huh, you must be very wise..." Or simply, "I like the number 26." Ha.

Now you see how powerful words are? And why it is always so important to use positive words? Let's try this experiment. Read the following short paragraph:

It's such a horrible day! The weather was so freaking hot and I waited like 20 minutes for the stupid train to arrive and worst of all it was so god-damn packed that I could hardly breathe. Stupid!

How did you feel when you read that? You felt crappy right? Now take a look at the other paragraph:

Bon jour! That's good day in French for you. :) Ha. It was a perfect weather today, alright I admit it was a bit hot but I could do with a tan seeing how my patapon dar dar has been commenting that I look like a bai zhan ji (White chicken). Ha.

The train today was a bit slow but thankfully I had my best friend, the MP3 player with me. :) Mr Digo is his name. Yup, I name all my stuffs like my mouse is called Miss Mousie while my handphone is Le Nokia. Ha. I just made all that up. Ha.

Well, you see the great difference? One is so full of negative energy while the other makes you feel happy when reading it right? That's why you must always be positive and use positive words. Remember that energy and mood is infectious.

Instead of being affected by the moods of others, why not be the one who sets the mood and pass on the good energy! Smile! Be Happy! Life is too short to be sad!!!

Ha. You suddenly feel very energetic now don't you? Ha.

Kok once commented that my writing was so powerful that if I wrote that I saw a Panda on Orchard road, you would have believed me.

Ha. Actually, he did not say that. I just made that up. But for a moment, you thought it was real right? Ha.

Talking about Panda, I went to watch Kungfu Panda with patapon dar dar last Friday. It's very NICE!!! Very funny! Must watch!

**SPOILER ALERT**

The moral of the story, "The secret ingredient is nothing." All it takes is for you to believe in yourself, then you will be able to achieve what you want."

Everyone in the world can don't believe in you, but as long as you constantly believe in yourself, you are good to go. :) Remember, the moment your dreams die, you are as good as dead.

Here's another great quote I picked up from a book, "Some people die at twenty-five, and aren't buried until they're seventy-five." Cheem ah? Ha.

** End of SPOILER ALERT**

The panda died in the movie. Oops!

Ha. Just kiddn lah.

After watching Kungfu Panda, I suddenly wanted to learn Kungfu, just like how I got this sudden impulse to learn Muay Thai after I watched Chocolate (See previous previous posts). Ha.

After watching movies, I always want to learn/do something new. Like Ratatouille, I was inspired to learn cooking. Speed. I wanted to be a bus driver. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: I wanted to eat lots of chocolate. Ha.

Oh yah, I just remembered, pre-orders of my latest book "Men are from Queenstown. Women are from Bukit Panjang" has just started. Get yours before it is too late! Ha. Order now and you will get this chance for an instant lucky dip! Ha.

I also realized that newly converted fans of siukai might find some of the stories here hard to following seeing how siukai has almost blogged for 7 years now, in fact even before the word blog was even invented. Ha.

Thus, there's a lot of back-story involved. Not to worry though, look out for the limited hardcopy edition book which will fill you in on the past 7 years of siukai crap. The book, "The Chronicles of siukai. The fatman, the wardrobe and his oversize pants." will be available at all major bookstores at the end of the year. Ha.

I also met this maths whiz kid at the bookfair. Okay, he was not exactly a whiz kid, but his maths standard was still good enough to impress me. I think he's in primary 2. I asked him, "How's your maths?" and he replied calmly, "Good."

So I popped in this Tough Maths CD-Rom for him to try. He tried a few questions and got all of them correctly (some of the questions were so cheem that I din even noe how to solve!) Then, I asked him to explain how he managed to come up with the solutions.

He pointed to some diagrams he drew on this rough paper I gave him and muttered, "This one is 15 then you add this one and that one..." I think he lost me at "this one is 15". Ha.

Nowadays kids are really getting smarter and smarter. Maybe it's because of the cartoon they watched?

Have you heard of Clifford the Big Red Dog? If you have not, welcome to my world uncle/auntie! Ha.

Apparently, Clifford is this red in color dog that is quite popular with kids nowadays. Well, I have no idea until I saw him at the world book fair! Ha. And when I was told that the dog was actually quite famous, I was dumbfounded.

I've heard of Barney, Pikachu, Mickey Mouse. But Clifford? The only dog I know is Pluto from the Mickey Mouse gang. Ha. A case of generation gap already? Ha.

Anyway, I think that Clifford is god-darn scary. Why is it even red in the first place? Ha. Just take a look at the picture I found on the web, below.

Clifford the scary red dog

Look at those scary big eyes and the gigantic paws. Ha. One K2 boy even cried when he saw Clifford. I think he will have nightmares of red dogs for a few consecutive nights!

I swore I had goose bumps when the giant Clifford Mascot brushed past me. Ha. Scary!

Well, this should be my last post until the weekend since I'm going for my reservist on Wed. Do look out for the return of siukai's weekend feast; dar dar is cooking lime chilli chicken and rice this Saturday! Yummy yummy! :)

Remember, you must always believe in yourself. The secret ingredient is... nothing!

i for ICT and IPPT

Just took a peek at my In-Camp-Training schedule next week. Just like what Ed said, it is almost like a chalet camp! Minus the fun of course. Ha.

It's not that bad lah, from the looks of it, it seems that there will be plenty of lectures and that means some quality time at the air-conditioned auditorium. Ha.

Unfortunately, there will be a 2.5 days outfield exercise in week 2 and of course, every NS man favorite nightmare. The IPPT. Ha.

I think they are trying to reward those who have been keeping themselves fit all this while because those people who clear their IPPT on Thursday will not need to book in to camp on Saturday and at the same time can end their ICT one day earlier!

Darn! If only I knew... I would have stayed clear of those late night chicken chop and cheese baked rice at Xing Wang! Ha. Ed and me are almost certain that we will be joining the extra-training club. :P

Looking on the bright side, I think it's still quite okay; I think Uncle Siu can still make it back alive after the 10 days ICT. Ha.

Moving on, a few days back, someone asked me whether I believed in destiny. If that person has asked me the question a few years back, I would have readily said yes. I would have told her that, "Yup, I think I was born to lead the greatest loser club of all time, Losers.com to greater heights." Ha. (See Losers Era - siukai 3:16)

Ask me that question now and I will tell you, "No. I don't believe in destiny. I don't believe that all of us already have a path that the Almighty has set up for us. I believe that we create our own destiny. Simply put, we are the master of our ships, we are our own god and we create our own destiny.

There's this particular quote which I would like to share with you guys:

"Each day, life will send you little windows of opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity. Shrink from them and your life will be small, feel the fear and run to them anyway, and you life will be big. Life's just too short to play little."

I believe that where we are now is based on the decisions we have made in the past and where we are heading will depend on the decisions we make in the future.

Like if you don't stop reading siukai's crap now and get your ass off the chair, you may not be in time to complete that last minute assignment. Ha. It is not your destiny that you will not finish the assignment on time, it is because of your choice to continue reading.

That's a wise decision of course. siukai's crap comes first. Assignments can wait. Ha.

The other time, I was talking about this method of taking one small step at a time in order to fulfill big goals. I mentioned that I would elaborate on that in another post and well, since I've got some spare time now, let me just give a mini siukai lecture. Ha.

This book which I read, "One Small Step Can Change Your Life - The Kaizen Way" mentioned that a long time ago when we were still cavemen, our minds were built in a simple way. Since we were not really at the top of our foodchain in those days, (There were the T-Rex and other dinosaurs that could devour us effortlessly, our mind was built for one thing only - and that was to survive.

Our mind was very sensitive to danger, that was why when we explored unfamiliar territories, our mind will warn us not to proceed further for the fact that there could be one hungry T-Rex just round the corner. Wandering from our comfort zone would trigger off a warning from our brain. That was how we made sure we survived longer than the dinosaurs.

A few million years later, things of course have changed dramatically. We are now at the top of our food chain and we won't hesitate to slay innocent sharks so that we can boil their fins to show off at wedding dinners (That is a topic for another day.) However, our danger warning part of our brain has not changed much over the years.

That is why when we want to try something unfamiliar or something that looks intimidating like public speaking, our warning system kicks in and gives us all those anxiety signs like profuse sweating, cold palms, rising temperature etc. Of course, no T-Rex is waiting to eat us alive but our brain do not know, it has been like this since millions of years ago. It just wants to warn us.

That is why most of us put off doing big tasks like maybe file our taxes, clearing the almost full cabinet of documents or even less intimidating one like going for a jog. The moment we think of such "big" tasks, our warning system kick in and it will try its best to prevent us from taking the "risk."

The brain thinks that it is helping us to survive but of course we know that filing our taxes or clearing our cabinet won't kill us unless you have a mountain of documents, then you run the risk of being buried alive.

So, based on the book, there is actually a way to avoid triggering the natural "defence" of the brain - that is to take one small step at a time. Because when the task seems small enough, the brain will not sense any "danger" and it will allow you to do it.

Let's take one example of going jogging, an activity that most people dread or put off even though they know that it is actually good for them. When you think about jogging what is the first thing you will think of?

You might imagine running under the hot sun, sweat trickling down from your face to your neck. Breathless, muscle cramps and aches all over your body. Wow, that seems like a torture! Ha.

So guess what your brain tries to do? It tries to prevent you from going jogging of course! But all is not lost! Help is at hand! Ha.

The Kaizen method is simple, you just take one small step at a time and repeat it until you feel comfortable to proceed to the next. So let's return to our jogging example. Let's say our first step is to wake up at 8.00am in the morning for a jog, but you normally wake up at 11am. You lazy pig! Ha.

So our first step can be to wake up five minutes earlier every day. That's not too hard isn't it? No objection from the brain.

Day one 10.55am. Day two 10.55am. Day three 10.50am. Day four 10.50am. You keep on doing this until you feel ready to move on to the next stage. Of course maybe instead of 5 minutes you can shave off 15 or 30 minutes at one time, as long as it is still within your comfort zone.

So, what happens next? Soon, you will find that you have no problem waking up at 8am every morning! Just take my case as an example, I used to sleep until like the late morning every day but for the past 1 month, I have been able to wake up at 8.30am almost every day, except on Sundays when I reward myself with an hour of additional sleep. :)

Now that you can wake up at 8am, what's the next step? Put on your jogging shoes! Putting on the jogging shoes is not that hard right? It's another small step. Then after that maybe you can just go for a 1 minute jog.

1 minute? siukai, are you kidding me? Ha. Nope, I'm not. Compare 1 minute to a 20 minutes jog, which one looks more appealing? If one minute still seems too long for you, try 30 seconds.

The science behind this method is that whenever you do something new, your brain starts to create new neurological paths. When you keep repeating the action/activity more paths are created and eventually they become very strong. Now you know why it is difficult to kick a bad habit?

So when you start to jog for 30 seconds for a few consecutive days, you do not raise any alarms in the brain defence system, therefore new paths are created. By the time these paths become stronger, 30 seconds will no longer be any kick to you. That's when you will feel comfortable enough to proceed to 45 seconds, a minute or longer. Jogging for 30 seconds become part of your comfort zone.

It may be a slow method but it will work. Taking 6 months to conditioned yourself to like to jog for 30 minutes everyday is definitely better than forcing yourself to jog for 2 consecutive weeks before succumbing to the old habit. Remember that a journey of a thousand miles always begin with a single step. It is a small step but it still has to be taken before there is a next.

Anyone interested to know more can pick up the book "One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way" by Robert Maurer at the nearest library or bookstore. Ha. Like book review like that.

I was doing this quiz I found on someone else's blog and the result is quite accurate, at least for my case. I seldom do or recommend quizzes here but since this particular one is rather short (9 questions), maybe you should give it a try too. :)


Here are my selected results:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

siukai comments: Yup, I think this is quite true for me since I always believe there are two sides to a story.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

siukai comments: Ha. This one is rather true too. I like independent and smart people, just like my patapon dar dar. :)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

siukai comments: This one is a no-brainer. I have to make sure that my dar dar was neither a Liverpool nor Chelsea fan. My dar dar don't watch soccer. Ha.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

siukai comments: This one though I'm not too sure because before dar dar the number of dates I had... well is too embarrassing to be printed here. Ha.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

siukai comments: siukai is a born problem solver. Need I say more? Ha.

Just an update on my exam results which was revealed last week. I think I did still okay lah though there were two modules that did not meet my expectations. I thought I could at least get an A-. Ha.

But it was a fair result because I only started to work hard towards the end. Gys's sudden departure was difficult to handle and that period was really a tough one. But I've told myself to stop making excuses for myself because you reap what you sow. You can't possibly expect to grow roses by planting soya bean seeds. Unless they are genetically engineered of course. Ha.

That one module I got C, I kinda expected it cos I have to admit I did not put in enough effort. I swear that it will be the last C I will ever get in my remaining 2 years of study. (Notice that I never say I will not get C+ or D? Ha. )

I have not always been good with maths or numbers and so that's why I have decided to set a challenge to myself. Next sem, I will be taking 3 modules that involves maths and I'm going to score 3 As. Yup, it might be a tall order but I just want to prove to anyone who is reading this now that the mind can achieve whatever you set it to do.

I believe nothing is impossible, it's either because you did not try hard enough or you run out of time.

Winners make sacrifices, losers make excuses.

One of my new found friend has been asking me for tips on how to maintain a relationship, seeing how siukai and his patapon dar dar is almost into their 35 months, reaching 36 in July. :) Of course it takes two hands to clap but the role the guy has to undertake is crucial nonetheless.

So, do look out for siukai's upcoming book, "Women are from Bukit Panjang. Men are from Queenstown." Ha.

Here's a little sneak peek:

Girls like surprises. Who wouldn't? Actually guys like surprises too. So, give your partner a surprise. If you are a guy, buy your gf a bouquet of flower and treat her to dinner. If you are a girl, cooking him a sumptuous dinner and topping it up with the latest psp game can do wonders too.

And when they ask, "How come you give me present today? What's the occasion?"

You reply, "Give present to laopo/laogong/darling/honey need reason meh?"

I tell you, that smile on her/his face would be the widest you have ever seen. Ha.

I have been typing this for almost two hours now. Ha. Yah, I'm full of crap. :)

Yesterday, I thought about my previous post on Kingston. Initially, I wanted to post a heavily censored M16 version taking into account those people who do not know siukai well and who happened to read the entry might think that siukai is actually a nasty guy trying to badmouth someone.

Well, I thought about it for a while and realised that there will always be two camps to a story, like how there will be people who think that terrorism is a good thing while the rest of the world opposes it. Of course, I'm not saying I'm comparable to a terrorist lah.

I was searching for this quote which I read a long time back but wasn't able to find it, so I came up with my own version but with similar meaning.

When we were young, we were always conscious of how people think of us, we put on our best makeup, dress up so that we will look our best when we walk on the streets. When we were adults, we try our best to climb the corporate ladder, to gain success and money because we were afraid how people would judged us if we were not successful. And finally when we are old and frail, we finally realised that all these while, no one has been judging us because most people are too busy minding their own business.

At the end of the day, the opinions of others do not count because as long as you know you are doing the right things, you have spoken the truth and your conscience is clear.

It does not matter if everybody else think that siukai is the nastiest man alive because as long as my patapon dar dar, my family, friends and fans know that in fact siukai is the nicest man ever, that is good enough for me.

Therefore I stand by my judgement.

Corsair is still better than Kingston. Ha :P

So siukai, how does it feels like to be 26?

Hi, I'm back.

It has been a long week. I'm battered, my legs are like dao hui(soya bean curd) after 5 consecutive days of standing at the world book fair trying my best to promote some educational products. Hey boss, if you are reading this, I really tried my best liao lei. Really. Ha.

It sure doesn't help when you have an extra weight in the form of a tummy who as I mentioned in my previous post seems to have a life on its own despite me trying to shhh... get rid of it. And of course, my age has been dutifully running along side me and soon I will reach the grand number of 26.

When age catches up with you, let's just say that your body just ain't the same anymore. Yup, previously you needed one bowl of rice to fill that stomach, then 2 and now it just keeps getting hungry, like a baby. Ha.

Jokes aside, my once muscular legs which was at one time estimated to be worth 1 million dollars at the Commonwealth league, (one side mind you, so that's 2 million for a pair) is now so weak that even the garang kuni man will have to think thrice if i were to trade them for some old newspapers.

5 consecutive days of standing for up to 10 hours a day is really taking a toll on Uncle Siu's poor legs. Ha. :)

So much for the intro, now let me tell you about what happened during my five days at the bookfair.

I met some nice people :) and one rather interesting guy. No, I did not meet Xavier again (see previous post) or his minions, Cyclopes or Wolverine. Ha. Rather, it was this guy who seemed to have something against me which I will explain shortly.

This guy, let's just call him Kingston. Of course you guys know that siukai is a nice person and he never reveals actual names in his blog posts. So let me just reiterate that all the names in this entry are fictional unless otherwise stated. :)

There's another girl who plays an important role in this story and let's call her Chelsea. And of course you have yours truly, siukai who is obviously the protagonist of the story. Ha.

So, it all begun on a sunny Saturday afternoon at the world book fair at suntec city convention hall. Oh yah, Chelsea and Kingston are both my colleagues at the world book fair, we are part-timers. So, it happened that Chelsea and me were in the morning shift and after some "Hi, I'm Kaichong and Hi, I'm Chelsea, we begun our search for our first customer.

Soon after, Kingston who was in the afternoon shift came along and he went around the booth introducing himself. Quite a friendly guy, I thought to myself.

When it was my turn, Kingston asked me whether I had any English name. You can call me KC for short, I told him nicely. "Oh KC", he replied, smiling. "How old are you?" he asked. "I'm twenty six this year." I replied. "Oh 26, he smirked and nodded his head. (For the record, Kingston is 23)

I wanted to ask him why he had that look on his face but then decided not to. I was not there to chat but rather to help my boss make some sales for his education products. (You hear that boss?!) Ha. :p

Anyway, after a while Kingston left me alone and he proceeded to talk to Chelsea. For the next few hours, Kingston was chatting with Chelsea and did not give a hoot about the customers who walked past. That of course made him a bad salesperson since he did not attempt to get any customers but unbelievably, he did made one deal while poor siukai, the hero got none even though he was like working his ass off.

That brings me to the next point: Life is not fair. Don't worry, I know that like eons ago but I just wanted to warn the readers who still do not know this important fact of life; Life is never fair except in the movies where the underdog wins. Most of the time, the underdog will always remain where he is. Under and a dog. Ha.

So, the sooner you get over this fact, the faster you can move on in life. Repeat after me, Life is not fair and an underdog will always be an underdog. He can never become an abovedog and God forbids, an abovecat. Ha. Right, that's a bit lame.

Okay, so where was I? Oh yah, Kingston talking to Chelsea. Chelsea on the other hand, I think she wanted to be a decent saleswoman so she was trying to get some sales while Kingston was not chatting with her. Occasionally, she would come over and we would talk A BIT. Not a lot ah boss, my eyes are constantly scanning for customers even when I'm chatting. :)

Why am I telling you so much crap? It's all part of the story, be patient! The best part is yet to come.

Anyway, for my dear friends who are smart and experienced, you may already sense what I'm getting at. Kingston seemed to be interested in Chelsea and I can almost confirm on that suspicion when I kept seeing him look at my direction while Chelsea was talking to me.

If looks could kill, I would already be dead.

So, let me summarise up till this point, for those who are lost. Kingston likes Chelsea. Kingston sees siukai talking to Cheslea. Kingston thinks siukai is a threat. So, Kingston decided to deal with this "threat"

siukai of course is not a threat because we all know that siukai has his patapon dar dar and they are happily "married" for almost three years now. But Kingston do not know it, at least not yet.

Just to add, siukai CAN be a threat if he wanted to but not in this case because siukai LOVES his patapon dar and no other girls interest him. :D Hear that dar dar?! Don't be jealous k! :P

So, what the heck did Kingston try to do to "intimidate" this threat into backing off? Firstly, when siukai was talking to Cheslea while at the same time on the lookout for customers, Kingston circled us, like a lion stalking his prey in a National Geographic special. His eyes were constantly observing us, ready to pounce should we make any sudden move.

I think he was like sizing me up and at the same time trying to warn me that I had put one foot too many into his territory and he wanted me to back off immediately.

Wah siukai, you are a really good mind reader lei, just one look and you can know what he is thinking already ah? Yah, don't you know, I learnt my trade from Xavier and didn't you hear that the eyes are the window to your soul? Ha.

I chose to ignore Kingston of course. But I did not really enjoy the constant stares he was giving me.

Then while I was alone, he walked over to me and asked me, "Hey KC, so how does it feels like to be 26?"

When I heard that question, I was like shocked because hey, no one has ever asked me such a question before! As we all know, age is a sensitive topic, especially to ladies but hey, no one said that age is not taboo to guys! Ha.

Actually, it was not the question but rather the tone of his voice when he said it. I'm certain the hidden meaning in his question was, "Hey old man, you are over the hill already, leave the young girls to me. So back off!"

I was rather offended by that question.

But that's not all, a while later, he returned and guess what he said next?

He came over and he asked, "Hey KC, don't you feel OLD?!"

I was like what the -?! If this was the old (pun not intended) siukai he was talking to, I'm sure he would immediately pounce on Kingston and give him the best stonecold stunner he could muster. But this is the new siukai, the siukai who has mellowed and attained enlightenment. The same siukai who believes that we should make love, not war. Ha.

At this point of time, I was darn pissed off with him but I calmly replied, "Why do you keep asking me that?" making sure to add a tone of annoyance in my voice.

"Well, because everyone else is like 19 or 20 and you are like well, 26."

Wow. If Xavier was there, he would immediately stop listening to my mind cos the explicit language might be too much for him to take. Ha.

I smiled and walked away.

Not wanting to get embroiled in a meaningless territorial battle, I backed off. For the record, dar dar who saw Kingston on Sunday remarked that I would kick his ass, hands down if I were really to have a faceoff with him. Just look at the size of my tummy. Ha.

However, i guess I did not back off far enough because he seemed to want to drive the final nail in my coffin. He came back to me after a while, looked at me and mumbled, "Wow, 26", shaking his head in mock pity. (Maybe it's real, I'm not sure. Ha.)

Ouch. That was really like too much for me to take. If those words were arrows, they would have struck through my chest, deep into my heart and exited through my back. I ran to the toilet and cried my eyes dry. Ha.

No lah, I just took it like a man. No point wasting my breath with this kind of immature people.

He did not attack me after that and when he knew that I was already "married" to patapon dar dar I thought I detected a breath of relief from him. Ha. :P

Nothing else happened that evening and for the next few days, Kingston continued his chasing game and having realised that siukai was no longer a threat, he did not bother me much.

Some of you reading this now might think that I'm bias and in fact it is me who has something against Kingston. Well, I tell u I've seen my fair share of people and Kingston is definitely one master player, although Kok might have something to add to that. Ha.

The tactics he employs to chase Chelsea is so old school. We guys call it Cocky Humor. You first start by teasing the girl of interest so that you get her attention. So instead of praising her you say things like, "Oh, you look so ah-lian or oh, you are such a bad salesperson. You get the point? More details in siukai's upcoming book on The Black Art of Chasing Girls. Ha.

Cocky humor works based on the fact that girls are naturally attracted to "bad" guys; guys who can make their heart pound faster. I mean who will make a more lasting impression? A nice guy who talks to you about boring and politically correct stuff OR someone who keeps insulting you and teasing you?

Now you know why nice guys never wins?

Anyway, I guess it's okay to use Cocky Humor once in a while but not to the extent that you actually offend a girl. That's what Kingston did as he said something nasty to Chelsea which made her so upset that she cried.

That's plain stupid really. Yup, he should count himself lucky that the new no-temper siukai was in the house and not the old (once again no pun intended) one.

The amazing thing? Chelsea apparently forgave him after a while because he bought her a good luck charm and attached a "I'm Sorry" Note. (Actually, Kingston bought the good luck charm before the incident - another old school tactic.)

And you know what Chelsea said to me? She said, "I didn't know that he's such a nice guy."

I was really speechless, loss for words, cat got my tongue, stunned. Nice guy? Then what would that make me? A saint? Ha.

You call someone who says offending things to a lady to the extent of sexual harassment a nice guy? Wow. The world has really changed.

But I guess girls are strange beings. Like when my patapon dar dar told me she thought I was the handsome-est creature she set her eyes on when we first met. I immediately advised her to get her eyes checked at the nearest clinic.

Just like in sales where some customers are easily closed by the salesperson persuasive sales talk, some girls are more prone to sweet-talk and actions. Now you know why most nice girls go for the bad dudes.

But of course siukai, who are you to judge someone when you barely know him? Just because he said rude things and offended you on the first day, you condemned him to hell? Maybe he is actually a volunteer at the old folks home?

I hope not because I really don't know what the heck would happen when he goes around and start asking everybody there, "Hey, don't you feel OLD?" Ha.

Gosh, siukai is such a nasty man. :p