The Banker and the Fisherman

Hi there! My creative juices are not really flowing at the moment and...

Ha. You see, I don't even know how to complete that sentence. I think I need a break! :D

Well, for today's post, I'll share with you guys this story which Kok sent me via email. It's a nice read. Hope you all enjoy it. :)

The Banker and the Fisherman

An investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The fisherman replied, "Only a little while."

The banker then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"

The fisherman said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."

The banker then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, go for walks with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my friends. As you can see, I have a full and busy life."

The banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat! With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats.

Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to
a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to the capital city. After that, who knows, maybe you could take on the world!"

The fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the banker replied, "I'd say about 15 to 20 years."

"But what then?" asked the fisherman.

The Banker laughed and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions?...Then what?" the fisherman continued prodding.

The banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, go for romantic walks with your wife, and in the evenings you could sip wine, play guitar and sing songs with your friends!"

To which the fisherman mused, "Now isn't that strange? Isn't that what I'm doing now?"

Hmm... something for you to think about eh? Makes you wonder why you are in the rat-race in the first place...

Stop bringing your own bags and give our kids their childhood back.

I hate BYOB day. That's "Bring your Own Bag Day" for you. I think we should scrap it altogether. Not that I'm not a green person, in fact I'm always in support of saving our dear precious mother earth.

However, BYOB day is another matter. Last time, it used to be the first Wednesday of every month but now it seems that it's BYOB day every Wednesday at NTUC fairprice supermarkets.

Well, I believe in taking all my medicine at one go; either you scrap BYOB day or you totally stop giving out plastic bags, like what IKEA is doing.

You know that sudden realization, when you are carrying a truckload of grocery and getting ready to pay for it at the cashier when you suddenly remember, "Oh shoot! Today is Wednesday! And that means, I have to bring my own bag!"

It is then you wished that you could time travel and instantly jump to Thursday. Or you could jump back to Tuesday and remember that you have to bring your own bag along when you go to the supermarket on Wednesday. Ha.

Gosh, I just realized I sounded so auntie. Fancy complaining about plastic bags and grocery shopping here. Ha.

Speaking about taking all our medicine at one go, like how the GST was raised from 5% to 7% at one shot, I think we should review the PSLE Maths papers now and raise the standard to such heights that only people from a certain country can pass it. Ha. :P

I mean, have you recently taken a look at the stuffs our primary school kids are learning nowadays? I tell you, some of the maths questions have left me scratching my head. Maybe I'm allergic to maths or something since my scalp always itches whenever I look at algebra or equations. Ha.

Not only Maths, even the science. People, these kids are studying animal reproduction in primary school already! The last time I was in primary school, I was still trying to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg! Ha.

Even the English, the vocabulary these kids are exposed to and expected to know might even put some of you to shame. For crying out loud, you guys are reading this piece of crap right now while those genius kids are happily easily devouring the Straits Times and some even the Business Times. Ha.

My point in all this? Give our kids a break! Give them their childhood back! I shudder when I hear and read reports from parents that almost all kids nowadays have tuition because every other kid is having it.

I know I should not be going against the tuition era since my patapon dar dar is after all a tuition teacher and the food she brings to the table are all bought from the money she makes from tuition and boy are those nice food and I sure don't want to miss those food... oops, sorry I got distracted! Ha.

But I feel that everything should always be done in moderation. Some kids have tuition from Monday to Sunday, giving them no time to do the most important thing a kid should do. It starts with "P."

No, NOT taking Piano lessons but rather PLAY!

Kids need to play just like how fishes need to swim. I mean a fish won't be a fish if it didn't swim just like how a kid won't be a kid if he/she doesn't play! Ha. It might seems like a strange analogy but you get the point right?

A fish that doesn't swim is either a dead fish or simply a fish that has not been taught how to swim. And we all know what happens to fishes that can't swim, they all end up dead eventually.

A kid who doesn't play? Then where the hell is his imagination going to come from? What about his make-believe conversation with his imaginary friend, or his Steven Spielberg's talents when he directs his Spiderman action figure in his own version of Spiderman 4?

Wow, I just realized how much I missed those. Ha.

For the girls, no more imaginary tea parties or the pretending to be a cook games. No more, gasp, Barbie dolls and Ken. You know what that means people? It means that the entire toy industry could go down! Think of the repercussions!

Millions will be out of jobs. Factories that once churn out Barbie dolls could end up producing "How to ace your maths in 10 days!" instead! That is horrible! Ha.

So people, for the sake of the toy industry and our economy, stop giving the kids so much tuition! I mean, the only tuition I had was from Primary 3 to 6 and even that was a relaxing group tuition where we will spend 10 minutes to do our worksheet and the next hour playing block catching. Ha. Shh... don't tell my mum that.

What? You don't know what is block catching? I really pity you. Ha.

I had minimal tuition and look where that got me today?

...

Right, that wasn't such a great example. Let's move on shall we? Ha.

Point is, kids can have tuition but some time should be allocated to playing. You only have your childhood once and the moment you miss the train to childhood land, you miss it.

There's no second train or anything like that. You can't possibly have make-believe conversation with your Batman action figure when you are an adult, unless you are really directing the next Batman blockbuster and you need to do that to get inspiration. Ha.

Otherwise, sorry. The trip to childhood land is one way and they don't wait for late-comers.

That's why I have been trying to get this point to my dar dar about the future plans for our kids. Tuitions are allowed on Monday to Friday and half a day Saturday. After that, it's playtime and Sunday is family day! Ha.

What? You wished you were my kid? Ha.

But I'm still trying to get dar dar to sign on the dotted line just in case she backs out on our agreement for the kids. Ha. See, siukai is such a nice guy and would make the best father in the world!

Gosh! What the heck is wrong with me today? I'm already starting to talk about fatherhood when I'm not even married?! Ha.

Well, it's never too early to plan isn't it?

I always felt that I was much older than what my IC suggested. Maybe wiser is a more appropriate word. Ha.

In primary school, when the other kids were still catching spiders and grasshoppers, I was already at Tarantulas and crickets. Ha. That was obviously a joke. Point is, I think far ahead. Like currently, I'm thinking of what to have for lunch on Saturday. Ha. :p

Come on siukai! Can't you be serious for a second?

Right.

There. A second.

Ha. I can't be serious. I will bore you to death. The other time I tried to be serious, I was nearly arrested by the authorities for attempted murder by boredom. Ha.

Some of you reading this blog might think that siukai is the crappiest man alive and he is full of bull. Well, the truth is far from that.

My dar dar can attest to that; siukai can be serious and most of the time he is rather boring except when he is blogging. That's when another being seems to take over his mind and fingers and crap will just flow out, like now. Ha.

Okie, I got to stop soon. Need to head to work. Yah, I got another work as a traffic surveyor. Recently, I feel that I'm becoming more of an odd-job worker, all kind of work also do: Software promoter, Membership recruiter and now traffic surveyor. Ha. What's next?

This weekend, dar dar is cooking one of her specialty dish, "Tuna fried rice with sausages". Ha. Looking forward to it. Till then. Au revoir! :D

Siukai's weekend feast and other stories

Hey hey, welcome back!

Wanted to update my blog yesterday but I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (Not literally of course but just felt I needed to clarify since I share the same bedroom with my bro and there is a slight possibility that I might in fact roll over to his side of the bed in the middle of the night. Ha.)

Was feeling quite grouchy the entire day and had no mood to write any crap.

But siukai, I thought you say you must learn how to control your emotions and must always think positive thoughts?

Yah, I did say that but remember siukai is still mortal after all and there are times when it is just difficult to practice what you pitch. Ha.

But not to worry though, I'm alright now; nothing a good night sleep and an episode of Friends couldn't fix. Ha.

So, let's begin shall we? First up, the highly anticipated return of siukai's weekends feast! Ha. Yup, it has been a while now since dar dar prepared dinner on a Saturday due to her going for a holiday in Taiwan a few weeks back and my work commitments.

But it was my off day last Saturday and dar dar was eager to feed my ever demanding tummy. Ha. This week, dar dar decided to cook up a Rendang Chicken Feast! :D So, we headed to the nearest NTUC supermarket to purchase the necessary ingredients.

Ingredients

The ingredients are rather simple. They include potatoes, chicken parts and a packet of your favorite Rendang Sauce. :) Dar dar said that the process of cooking the chicken is top secret, so I am not allowed to reveal the details here.

Ha. dar dar did not say that, just that I'm lazy to fill in the details. Ha. :P Just look at the photos can liao lah.

Frying the chicken

Adding the potatoes

Adding the Rendang Sauce

Simmering...

After frying the chicken and potatoes together with the sauce, we need to simmer everything for about 45 minutes.

The Rendang Chicken Feast!

Tada! The Rendang feast is ready to be served! The bowls of soup is Tofu soup. :) Notice the strange fried chicken drumstick that looks different from the rest. It's actually chicken from Long John Silver, leftover from lunch. Ha.

Rating:

Review: Quite a tasty treat! But appearance wise, the dish seems to be lacking some green. :) Dar dar also said that the sauce was not thick enough, maybe we need to get 2 packets of sauce for 1kg of chicken. Nonetheless, it was a commendable effort! Thanks dar dar!

Verdict: Not bad! Can Eat lah!

Alright then, now that we got the food out of the way, let's get down to serious business. Ha.

Seriously? (Pun intended) Serious business at siukai's world? That's a first! Ha.

I think I need to write a disclaimer for the following paragraphs: What you are about to read next is purely written for entertainment purposes. siukai does not mean to insult anybody. :)

After a few weeks of working at roadshows and book fairs, siukai has come up with a list of the different types of customers he encountered during his sales experience. Take a read to see whether you belong to or encountered any of the groups:

(Not in any order and for convenience sake, all the customers are treated as males. )

1) The "Talk to the hand" group:

This group of customers are most commonly encountered. Their methods are crude but effective. The customer simply raise his hand, palms facing the salesperson (akin to a Stop! No Go! gesture) to indicate that he is not interested. No spoken words needed. This "Talk to the hand" sign is surely a front-runner for invention of the century! Ha.

2) The Head-Nodders

This group of customers will simply nod their head irregardless of what you say. They will nod their head, as if in agreement with what you say. While nodding, they will smile at you but continue to walk briskly away. A very curious group since nodding of the head indicate interest yet these people do not stop and listen. Hmm... they must be from another planet. Ha.

3) The Head-Shakers

In direct contrast to the Head-Nodders, we have the Head-Shakers. This group is more easily understood since they will shake their head to indicate that they are not interested in what you have to offer them. Some will still smile at you out of courtesy while some will frown at you, as if you owe them money or something.

4) The Direct-tors

These group of customers are one of my favorites. They get straight to the point and do not beat around the bush. Normally, their first question will be, "Free? Need money?" The moment the sales person explains that there are costs involved, their immediate reaction will be, "Need money ah? No thanks." Straight-forward and no time is wasted.

5) The "I can't see or hear salespeople" group

These group of customers are the rudest. They treat salespeople as if they are invisible. Despite the salesman's best effort to talk to them, these customers simply walk away, no smile, no waving of the hand, no nodding/shaking of the head, nothing. It is as if salespeople are invisible to them. It is very rude. I think their mothers never teach them properly. If you belong to these group, shame on you!!! :(

6) The "I've got a minute to spare" group

This group of customers are the nicest. They have the courtesy to stop and listen to what you have to offer. Some will even have a decent human conversation with you. :) Though not all of them will buy eventually, they will at least treat the salesperson like a fellow human being, with respect that is. Kudos to their parents for teaching them well!

7) The "I'm simply not interested in what you have to offer" group.

This group is the most curious of all. They do not even give the salesperson a chance to explain what he is trying to sell them. They simply show him the hand or say, "Not interested" before the salesperson has a chance to speak. Very curious indeed, what if the salesperson was trying to give them free money? Ha.

8) The Squeezers

This final group of customers pride themselves in being able to get out of "tricky" situations, avoiding salesmen at all cost. They will find a way to squeeze behind the salesman's back, even though there might not be enough space. They will twist and turn their body within the limited walking space just to avoid eye contact with the salesperson.

It is as if the salesperson's gaze can kill or will have a hypnotic effect on them. Ha. But of course the days of the squeezers are numbered. There will come a day when mutation allows salesmen to have eyes on the back of their heads too. Ha. Gross.

Really got to meet a lot of strange and interesting people during the roadshows, I supposed it's better than being coop up in an office. :) So, is siukai considering a sales job for his future career? Nah, don't count on it. Some things are better left to the experts. Ha.