A journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step

Hi, it's me again. :) So sorry that I did not post any entry yesterday. Well, to act on my new found lesson on "One small step can change your life", I've decided to make it a point to write at least 5 sentences everyday and if the theory do work, then the crappy siukai will be back in business! Ha.

Since I'm feeling pretty talkative today, I shall blog a bit more. :) These few days, I've been preparing very hard for my test this coming Saturday. ie going to the library from 1pm to about 7pm daily for the past 3 days.

For some of you, that might not really be much of a kick cos i do noe some who mug 24/7 as the exams approaches. But for siukai, it is a BIG DEAL. Because I've not been so hardworking since... I think... during my O Levels Time! Wow! That's like a decade ago!

Yah, during my Os, I would stay at home and study from morning till the sun goes down. Ha, so why the sudden change siukai?

Well, contrary to what some of you might think, I have to admit I'm quite struggling in this new champions league; where everybody is so damn good that if you are just good, you are quite average. Imagine if you are just average...

I know I might cause an uproar if I say what I'm going to say next but I'm still going to say it anyway. Ha. I've never really considered myself a great student. I think I'm just pretty much above average, maybe bordering towards good. Ha. But back in the poly days, I guess everybody else was at least average, that's why I appeared to be VERY GOOD.

Now, that's a rather dangerous illusion cos it can do unrealistic boost to your confidence. Ha. Now in the champions league, the truth is out. And as we all knows, the truth always hurt. I'm pretty much just average, hovering above below average. Ha.

Yah, that's why I have to really pull up my socks and work real damn hard to avoid relegation. It's not really nice when you are at the top of the world one moment and then suddenly find yourself amongst the bottom. (Think Leeds United.) Ha.

Well, I also do not know why I'm so motivated to study these few days. Maybe it's the eagerness to prove myself wrong, that I am indeed quality material. Ha. Or maybe it's because I don't like to lose, that I don't like to be at the bottom. Hmm... I guess it's a combination of these two.

Before Gys's death, I was ready to quit school by this end June because based on our plans we would have developed and published a great game and I would then quit to concentrate on our newly formed business. Well, his sudden leaving really changes things quite a lot.

He was really the driving force behind the project, without him I don't think I will be able to continue. Not now, but I hope in the future.

Have been contemplating on quitting a few times after his sudden departure. I guess the stress from his death and school work was really too much to take. Have been coping better these few weeks...

It seems that a university degree is really important in Singapore as it opens up a lot of doors to your career. A check on the Singapore Prisons Website shows that a first class honors degree holder can get close to $3700. And he enters as an assistant superintendent. That's... rather impressive. Compared to a diploma holder? I rather not say.

But the thought of working in a 9 to 5 job, office bound really does not appeal to me, no matter how I try to imagine myself in such a job. I want freedom, I want flexibility and I want to make my own decisions. And at the same time you want to make lots of money?

Ha, I think everybody wants that kind of life also right siukai? Don't you think you're being a bit naive? Yes, maybe I am but it's always okay to dream right? If not, what's the point of living?

If I do complete my studies, it will be 2010 and I will be close to 29, just starting my career while my peers might already be holding senior positions or managers. That's not really a comforting thought.

But like what the Kaizen way teaches, "One Small Step Can Change Your Life and A journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step." Let's takes things slowly and one day I'm sure my dreams will come true. :)