Intermission

Exams are finally over and in the blink of an eye, it's May again. Almost half the year gone liao.

Had a really terrible/catastrophic start to 2008. As most if not all of u might noe already, Gys passed away suddenly. Shock, grief, regret. Yes, he was gone just like that; the unofficial advisor of the gang, he will and is still badly missed by us.

It's not everyday that you attend your best friend funeral, at a tender age of 25/26. It's just not normal. It was difficult to take obviously but life goes on. We have to keep on living, keep on breathing for the people who are still around.

2008 was supposed to be a brand new start for me, well I seem to keep saying that every year. Ha. But the sudden events that unfolded in Jan really turn things around. Life is unpredictable.

Still, all is not lost. There's another half a year ahead and of course much can be done. Slowly and surely, I'm finding myself again and deciding what I really want to do for the rest of my life - Relax.

Ha. Seriously, who wouldn't want to relax? But relax is not for me at the moment, I need to work hard now, to save up for marriage and the future beyond. Wow, suddenly Siu Kai is talking about marriage when a few years back, he was lamenting about the lack of a girlfriend. Yah, told you life was unpredictable.

Throughout the years, especially since after poly, I feel that I'm slowly maturing, like a fine cheese or wine, getting better with age. Ha. There were major changes in my thoughts, beliefs and the perspective on life. Besides the events I encountered, I feel that much of the change has got to do with the books I read.

There are a few books which really contributed much to these changes. The first one is "The Luck Factor" which is a book that seeks to prove scientifically that we create our own luck.

I still remember back in the poly days we used to call ourselves the losers because we do not seem to have any luck when it comes to the matters of the heart. Not only that whenever things go wrong we will comfort ourselves by saying it's okay, since we are losers anyway. Ha.

Like whenever we went out, the escalator at some place will breakdown. And we will point our fingers at each other and joked that it was us that cause the escalator to break down. Heck, we even had a slogan that goes something like this: "It's okay to lose. We like to lose. We are losers and we are damn proud of it!"

Ha. Really it was all meant to be a joke but we did not know then unconsciously we were making ourselves losers by thinking we were losers; what we think, we become.

It was not until I read "The Luck Factor" that i realised people who tends to get lucky is not because they were born lucky or because lady luck likes them. It's because of their actions and their beliefs. Simply put, if you think you are lucky, you will be lucky. It's all in the mind.

It's quite a good read, simple to ingest and it will really change your thinking on what is luck.

After reading the book, I was "enlightened" and from that day forth, I don't really believe in bad luck or anything like that. Because as explained, if you wake up in the morning and say you missed the bus or something and you start to think, oh hell it's a bad start to the morning.

And you go to work/school feeling that you are on an unlucky streak, you are sure to meet more "bad luck" for the rest of the day. Because you create the "bad luck" Your mood, your actions by believing that you will have bad luck actually cause "bad luck" to befall you.

Will stop explaining on this concept now or else it will turn into a lecture. Ha. Anyone interested to know more should pick up "The Luck Factor" by Dr Richard Wiseman.

The next book that made a difference in my life is "Rich Dad Poor Dad." I'm sure most of you would have read or heard about this book, it's the purplish covered books that you cannot miss at major bookstores.

The "Rich Dad Poor Dad" series changed my perspective on work and money. It made me realise that time is the most valuable asset and the concept of working for money and making money work for you.

Without a doubt this book kick started my entrepreneurship spirit. Is it a good or bad thing? Because now I cannot be like the "normal" people and work and get paid monthly. Curse or blessing? Only time will tell.

Another book that is equally important in my life is "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield. The books talk about a lot of concepts but one that stuck out is on the topic of how we are in control of our own destiny.

The main idea is this, we always have a choice. The only thing that we have control over the whole wide world is our mind; how we think and how we react to situations. So whoever you are and wherever you are now all depended on the decisions you made throughout your life because you made the decision, you made the choice.

The book also pointed out that people complained about things which they can change, such as complaining about bad boss or terrible colleagues. But people never complain about things which they cannot change such as gravity. Have you ever heard someone complain about how gravity was preventing them from flying?

Unlikely because there is just no way you can resist gravity, so people live with it. Which brings me to the next point, When a situation occurs, you can either change the situation to what you desire or if it is impossible, you change your thinking towards the situation, you live with it.

It's a rather simple concept that I feel most people still cannot come to terms with. That's why after reading the book, I never or seldom complain anymore because I know that is is just futile. Either I change my thinking or I find an alternative.

Take the case of the rising rice prices. People complain this and that, complain that the government is not doing anything, complain how come rice increase so much. But it's a global phenomenon. Can we change the situation?

Possible but quite difficult unless you are the president of the United States and you hold lots of power. So, since we cannot change the fact that rice will keep on increasing, change our thinking/habits.

We can either work more to earn more money, stop eating rice and find other alternative food source or grow your own rice. Complaining? That doesn't solve the problem!

Note that the complain doesn't mean I don't send complaint emails or letters. I still do that because it's actually part of the solution to solve the problem. (For example complaining about bad customer services) Ha.

Finally, there is this recent audio book I listened to, "Awaken the Giant Within" by Anthony Robbins. It explains on how our brain associate events with either pain or pleasure.

For example, say you had a very good feast at some fancy restaurant and you really enjoyed it very much, therefore you brain will associate the event as pleasurable. Therefore you will want to go back next time. In contrast, when you are in the army you suffer a lot of hardships, pain. Therefore, whenever you see a green uniform now, you shudder.

But sometimes our brain can wrongly associate events. For example, let's say you have a bad day at work and you come home feeling pretty angry. Then you see your wife's face, makeup and all. If you focus on your wife's face, your brain might WRONGLY associate your wife's face with your anger/pain. Therefore an argument results.

And worse, next time when you see your wife's face, you may even feel a bit resentful. That's why when you are feeling angry, be careful of what you focus on because it may create undesirable associations in the brain.

Fortunately, we can make use of how our brain associate to our advantage. For example, let's say we use it to quit smoking. When people smoke, they feel pleasurable. So the brain associate smoking with pleasure and relaxation.

But you can change the association. Think of the cigarette and instead of focusing on the pleasure, focus on how the smoke stink, how much it is costing your wallet and imagine bad coughs and blackened lungs. Think pain.

The more you associate smoking with undesirable effects/pain your brain will slowly reject the cigarette when it sees one. Because we human beings simply don't like pain.

That is just one example. This concept which I just learnt recently taught me how we must be in control of our own feelings and always look out for wrong associations by the brain.

Wow, really write a lot here. Like giving mini lecture like that. Ha.

The school holidays have started but I'm not really looking forward to it because I know that I don't have the luxury of "enjoying" anymore. Really need to get my plans on track and not disappoint the people who have placed the trust in me. :)

There's another topic on the Kaizen method of Taking small steps which I mentioned briefly in my previous posts. Will talk about that next time. Ha.

Till then, remember a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Take action now!